How to raise a successful person (E. Wojdicki)
When we learned that Mom was publishing a book, we decided that it was for us, her children, to write a preface about how it feels when your mother is…

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Gaseous people
In nature, a substance exists in three states: in solid, liquid, and in gaseous. (There is still plasma, but to present this in the logic of my metaphor is already…

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How to develop scientific thinking in babies
Once a mathematician (not a teacher, but a real scientist!) Began to conduct a home math circle. With children 3-5 years old, he did not cram the multiplication table and…

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Mistress-Self, Mistress-Person: Psychological exercise for Lovers

Do not read popular female novels! In one overly popular female novel, I read one thought that was very harmful from my point of view. Here it is: “Yet they know that love alone is not enough, even very large. It is imperative that everyone still knows that you are loved and desired. ”
This was said in a fluent tone in the style of “everyone has long known that …”, and in that tone a harmful lie is usually thrown into the masses. Read a textbook of rhetoric, it’s just about that.

It turns out that love alone is not enough. It turns out that everyone needs to know that you are loved and desired.

I immediately asked the question: who needs to know everything?

After a short time, I myself gave an answer to it. Jungianism as old as the world … Person and Self.

The self is trying to know the Beloved or Beloved. “Know” is a biblical verb.

Do not forget a single trait, absorb into the memory of your body everything that is connected with his body – the Other.

The person at this time feverishly instagram photoshoots about “how lucky I am with him.”

A person screams on the phone: “Lucy, you won’t believe it! Yakin threw his mimra and persuades me to fly with him to Gagra! ”

Here, in fact, is the answer? But no …

“And you take care of my letters,
So that descendants will judge us … ”
Not everything is as simple as it seems at first glance.

Not everyone, not all even good, smart and decent people love that part of the personality that Jung calls the Self. Many love their whole lives – Persona.

The saddest thing about love is this. If we approach a person with a question of choice: “What do you want – bitter glory or love”, the majority will choose … bitter glory. Love, not highlighted by spotlights of public attention, no one needs.

Deficiency in the body of the “vitamin of Love”
Nevertheless, no matter how stormy your romance is, if instead of the Self you “love” your proud earthly mask-Person, your body does not receive Love vitamins.

In this case, all the “costs” associated with the stormy romance, you bear. But income – you do not receive income.

The feeling is strange: it is as if you should soar on the wings – after all, you have a Roman Century, and you are squeezed like a lemon.

A sure sign – the wrong one is eating in your place. It is saturated with arrogance of the Person.

In this regard, an exercise was born in my psychotherapeutic practice, with which I will introduce you now.

So, the theoretical part is over. It begins – a purely practical part.

Psychological technique: “Who puts a ring on a finger? Person or Self? ”
(Jungian archetypes and mature love)
So, the attention of all the older lovers, fed up of hasty relationships and dreaming of True Love and (what a sin to conceal) True Tenderness (well, sex, sex). To everyone checking mail 15 times a day, in search of news: “Onegine answered your comment”

We begin acquaintance with the psychological technique: the road that leads to the light and life is called

Psychological technique “Who puts a ring on a finger? Person or Self? ”

So, enter the alpha state. Warm to the back, comfortable posture.

Psychological exercise. Part of the first meditation. People, people, people …
Renounce all that is vain and close your eyes. Focus on yourself and your Beloved. If I understood everything correctly, you passionately dream of a Relationship with him. You would like you to have a novel. You cannot live without this person. You put it on a meeting with Him as the rarest and possibly final chance in your life – to taste the fullness of Being again … Less commonly: you even dream of growing old with him and caring for his grave while your legs are still wearing.

You do not need anyone but Him. Okay

Now mentally enlarge the plan (I still use the NLP tools and shoot “films”, which I recommend to you as well). We spin the movie further.

You and Him are at the center of the frame. And around you, in the background are people, people, people. People who know Him. People who know you. People who know both of you well.

(List these people by name, please, and remember their faces – do not forget, we are doing the visualization exercise.

Made a list of “viewers of a film about love”? Have you forgotten anyone?

Now lose, please, their alleged reactions to your connection. Well, which of them “what will say” or “think”? Approximately presented? Hurrah!)

Move on. Around you scurry about and pass not only “acquaintances from work”, but simply people-extras – unfamiliar and completely unfamiliar passers-by.

They also see you – together. They look at you and say, “Wow! This is a couple. ” Or those who see you alone and say to themselves: “Wow! This is Woman. I can see through her eyes that she has a lover and she is happy with him! ”(Think of your options). Before whom else – would you like to go like this – actress Romy Schneider at the peak of his career, in his best love drama of Franco-Austrian production?

Psychological exercise. Part of meditation. Second. Angel phenomenon
Now imagine such a plot twist. An angel in a wizard costume comes down to you from heaven and says so.

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