When the baby commands, or how to react to the children's cry, oh and crying
Elena asks: Good day! I’ve read many articles already, but I don’t find a suitable one ... Help, please. Second child, daughter 1 year 4 months. Her behavior torments everyone,…

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When the baby commands, or how to react to the children's cry, oh and crying
Elena asks: Good day! I’ve read many articles already, but I don’t find a suitable one ... Help, please. Second child, daughter 1 year 4 months. Her behavior torments everyone,…

Continue reading →

Reinforcement in parenting
Reinforcement is a prerequisite for any learning and training. The main rule: “What we reinforce is what we get.” When parents approach the child, they reinforce the behavior that the…

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“There are no worthy men”

This psychological material is devoted to debunking the popular myth that there are no worthy men and other similarly structured formulations of myths that distract a person from the feat of self-improvement

Once the writer Maria Arbatova spoke very capaciously and to the point:

“When a woman says that there are no worthy men on the horizon, this is not a problem of their absence, but of her psychology. There are always more worthy men than you can fall in love with in one life.”

I remembered this thought, because it reminded me of another, expressed by Boris Pasternak and on a different, much more general reason:

“The tragic worldview is so bad because it is arrogant.”

I linked these two thoughts together, and the picture was almost complete.

It is the arrogance of a woman that leads her subsequently to the fact that she soon begins to see the world exclusively in black colors – there are no men in it.

***

Strange division of the world into “men” and “women”

I always with distrust and even anger perceive the annoying attempts of marketers and superficial psychologists to divide the world of people into two camps: the camp of men and the camp of women. I don’t understand what “female prose” is, in my opinion, prose can be realistic, modernist, postmodern … Finally, brilliant or mediocre, but not “masculine” and not “feminine”.

The explanatory inscription on some product “for the female target audience” generally wakes the beast in me.

Another philosopher V.S. Solovyov once and for all (it would seem!) Put an end to such sushyukany:

“A true man cannot be only a man or only a woman. It must be a free unity of masculine and feminine principles. ”

But to understand this is unprofitable, it is more profitable to divide the world of people into two camps: the camp of men and the camp of women. Do you know why?

The thing is that a person tends to blame another person for his misfortunes until he has been educated and instilled in the habit of introspection and self-control. An unbridled and ill-mannered person blames anyone he likes. But never yourself. It’s easier to find an “extreme”, external enemy and unite in a single impulse against him with others like you. When things are bad in the state and revolt and a change of power are about to begin, cunning rulers distract their people to fight the internal or external enemy.

Then everything bad that is happening in the country is declared “intrigues”, the enemy takes on mythical, fabulous, large-scale features. He has horns and a tail.

Life becomes much easier … The faucet flow, of course, will not stop, but at least you will take your soul away.

***

Instead of collecting stories about the “atrocities of men” and “poor scolded virgins,” you can sit down for psychology and understand over time – why in life people have regular failures, or why – specifically you are offended.

But we are all too lazy to do this and it’s a shame for self-importance. This laziness is spiritual or, if you like, intellectual. And conceit (pride) is, as a rule, the result of lazy intelligence. After all, the more you comprehend, the more you realize how weak you are, small, imperfect, how much you need to work and work in order to become like a Human …

It’s much easier to roll on the rails of the “old verified truths” that illiterate grandmothers used to set out for us, and now they are set out by television talk shows hosted abroad. What can you do – progress. Now idiocy is spoken out not at the well, but on Twitter or on large plasma panels occupying the entire wall of the living room …

So Men and Women …

What is relevant for women is also relevant for the other half of humanity. Therefore, the words of Maria Arbatova can be completely reformulated without any loss of meaning. Like this:

“When a man says that there are no worthy women on the horizon, this is not a problem of their absence, but of his psychology. There are always more worthy women than you can fall in love with in one life. ”

And when we get old …

And when we become old (or begin to perceive ourselves as such,) the confrontation of “man-woman” already loses its former relevance for us.

But the pattern of hatred is preserved. Only now we are starting to complain … already to the whole world, to all people in general, without analyzing the sexes.

Therefore, when a malicious old woman (or old man) says that there are no worthy people on the horizon, this is not a problem of their absence, but the problem of the psychology of the old woman or the old man.

But in this case, it’s usually too late to help …

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