Family psychology, relationship psychology explains: what is love, what is falling in love, what is a relationship of addiction, what is the search for the ideal partner, and what is the dumb following of the “parent scenario” …
Family psychology was born when, as such, the family ceased to exist (and therefore needed some kind of psychology). Here is the paradox!
Family psychology resembles grief-rescuers who arrived in time for a fire when the last firebrands were already down.
After all, why in the family a century ago there were various kinds of problems?
Yes, because the family never fundamentally took into account the needs of a particular person, but only the needs of the species as a whole.
Condition and property, inheritance, mortgage bonds and bills have always been more important than someone else’s mental and physical comfort, more important than love and feelings of sincere affection, more important than Life itself.
And if this physical Life interfered with someone, it was eliminated, in the name of the Family … for example, bringing a person to poverty, a public boycott, an insane asylum or quiet extinction from an undeveloped life in a strange house.
That is why the French writer Andre Gide once abandoned, at the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, his famous phrase: “Oh, Families! I hate you so much! ”
Family psychology began as a family economy.
And the family economy was simple (this was the psychology of the family later – more complicated). And its simplicity was described by the exhaustive aphorism of the present time: “Where will you get from a submarine?”
But best of all, the inimitable Jane Austen wrote about this in the novel Pride and Prejudice.
“Despite the fact that she had a low opinion of marriage and of men in general, marriage was always her goal. Only it created for a poor educated woman a worthy position in which, if she was not destined to find her happiness, she would at least find protection from need. ”
All the progressive scientific and socio-political thought of the 19th century was aimed at destroying the institution of the traditional family, which never allowed two good people to be happy together, and even if it did, these exceptional examples of rare happiness and consent sank in the ocean of vulgarity or the tragedy of ordinary marriages concluded in a notary’s office as a purchase and sale transaction, which they essentially were.
And so the institution of the traditional family collapsed. He was undermined for a long time by legislative reforms, the sexual revolution, especially the events related to the “liberation of women.”
And so we came to a new situation: family and marriage, as economic institutions, collapsed. And as a phenomenon of interpersonal relations – remained.
That is, people continue to fall in love, gather together to live together, produce and bring to mind offspring … Although no Hunger and no Public Exile threatens them, if they do not marry, but lead a bachelor lifestyle, consciously avoiding a closer , personal rapprochement with a sexual partner.
And then the psychology of the family was born (and strengthened), the psychology of family relations.
Because it became incomprehensible to people (especially scientists): what holds together people who are not threatened with hunger and execution if they run away? What force holds the basin? The situation is almost anecdotal …
This question can be answered simply and thoughtlessly: they say that it holds people together – the joy they receive from communicating with each other.
But not so simple … Look carefully around you. Are the relationships in the couples living around you filled with joy alone?
So what holds together people who, with each other, are not only not happy, but even sometimes “life threatening”?
Just economic dependence? Well no…
And psychology, the psychology of family relations, is trying to give answers to all these questions.
At present, the family has modernized itself and does not mean at all what it used to be.
But the science of the family – do not keep up with the times. Well, can Domostroy give answers to questions on how to communicate and whether children from different marriages of father and mother communicate and communicate? What crises can be in a same-sex family? What are the nuances of family relationships awaiting spouses who have chosen a “guest marriage”?
Family psychology arrived just in time. Just when people received the long-awaited “freedom from” and already began to think about “freedom for”, the psychology of family relations explains why a person, a couple, needs this freedom.
On our site there are a lot of materials devoted to the psychology of family relations, interpersonal relations between people loving each other. Love flares up quickly and quickly burns out. If you don’t know how to make a fire, so that fire also burns from a flaming piece of paper, then you can put out all the matches, burn the whole kindling, but you won’t get warm by the fire, but you risk freezing from untouched firewood.
The psychology of relationships begins with what explains: what is love, what is love? What is a dependency relationship? What is the search for the perfect partner? And what is the stupid adherence to the “parent scenario” …