Tram People
Most recently, I met one amazing book. This is a practical guide to psychology, written not for scientists and psychology students, but for ordinary people. Simple, but not simple. Because…

Continue reading →

Parental bans
They say that children can’t forbid anything ... (These are humanists and “Spokovites”) They say that children should be kept in tight rein. (These are traditionalists). Let them say ...…

Continue reading →

How to read books
Do you know why people who hate to read grow out of curious, gifted, and cheerful little children? You can tell me about a dozen reasons that will make you…

Continue reading →

Developmental Psychology and the Divide and Conquer Principle

My friend, a psychologist-colleague, sitting at someone else’s group seminar as a “supervision”, whispered to me somehow whimsically-pouted in my ear (as he generally likes to do this):

“I don’t understand why they all keep their … age flocks? Is there something sad and wretchedly cheap about that, can you not? ”

Somehow, I immediately understood very well what he was talking about, although he did not try to be clear …

Moreover, I also realized that I myself, it turns out, am thinking about the same problem and clearly see it. (More precisely, my subconscious mind thinks – how the smartphone is quietly downloading updates) – day and night.

It seemed to me (it was an insight) that I understood where the dog was buried, “where the dragon lives” and how to help us all “get out of the pit”. I saw the enemy in the face.

Let’s start in order.

How to weaken the enemy: immortal “political theories of Machiavelli” to help any sovereign
Everyone knows this simple truth, these basics of politics and governance: so that you don’t be afraid of your subordinates (you are one, but there are so many of them), so that they do not stand up against you as a conspiracy, a united and truly friendly front, you need to sow discord in them quarrel, enmity, mutual hostility and mutual distrust.

With the increasing influence of the impersonal machine-bureaucratic state (and this happened only at the end of the 18th century and was enshrined in the Napoleonic Code), the question arose of

“How to make subjects obey, destroying the sprouts of all self-government and freedoms.”

We were now talking about all classes of infections: from nobles to peasants. All of them were now the State – enemies, it did not believe anyone (and did it right).

Now there is such a single opposition: impersonal power – an impersonal controlled mass.

And since then a dull, undeclared war has begun – the war of the Mechanism against the Person; State war against its own living people.

The bureaucratic State suffered from one phobia – it was constantly afraid of uncontrollability, accountability and lack of control.

The bureaucratic State also suffered from obsessive disorder – it liked to count and count everything and had the mania to lay out everything and everyone in alphabetical order.

And how could it – it took measures to standardize, to eliminate this outrageously free “chaos” of private life, which has the audacity to proceed not in alphabetical order – the measures are various, egregious and very instructive for us.

In this article of mine, I will consider only one such measure, because it is directly related to psychology and because it is both in my power and in your power to counteract it.

But in order for you to have a complete picture, I literally insist (I don’t even recommend it anymore), I take the liberty and impudence to ask you to familiarize yourself with the relevant and brilliant work of the ultra-modern sociologist James Scott:

“Good intentions of the state. Why and how failed projects to improve human life. ”

In particular, Scott tells why old quarters with intricate narrow streets were torn down in Paris and built instead of them – wide boulevards with high-rise buildings – well visible and shot for kilometers ahead – from the roofs.

The key word is “well shot from the roofs.” Pan-Opticum – for conducting street battles with his own people. For the impossibility of this people – to hide and run away from the police along the alleys, kitchen gardens and dead ends, which he knew from childhood.

Why in the 18th century surnames and numbering of houses were invented – read also with Scott.

But back to age psychology.

How to disassemble a broom on twigs
The state sleeps most tightly at night, when the “atomization” of its individuals and their “leveling” took place in society.

All are now “the same,” which means that they are, in principle, uninteresting to each other.

Little blue beads to little blue ones. Little red ones to a little red box. Very beautiful. Order.

The easiest way to do this work is to inflict one, but the right blow to the solar plexus – breaking intergenerational relationships between people. So.

Representatives of different generations and age groups become uninteresting and disgusting to each other.
Moreover, these feelings are often (unfortunately) very fair! .. People develop phobias (fears) when they only think about people of a different age.

Instead of being easily and interestingly friends, sharing experience or pouring fresh energy and enthusiasm, people of different ages begin to sincerely hate and fear each other. Be ashamed…

Adults argue: “I’m a dull, comical old man for them.” Young argue: “I am for them a green cleaver, silly and naive, who has not achieved anything in life yet.”

These age prejudices, plus the stupidest arrogance of age:

“Det-ta-chka! .. Pa-live with my, give birth to two” (from the opposite of the Adult),

“Fu, fatty-otky” (from the side of a silly youth who does not shine with anything, who herself will become so exactly in 5 years).

Prejudice and unreasonable arrogance lead to the following sad result: the inability to speak in a friendly manner with each other.

Raising a boy
Boys and girls are different initially. Since childhood, girls prefer to play with dolls, outfits and relationships, boys are more interested in cars, construct something and fight. You can, of…

...

What we take for love
There is such a famous joke. An elderly professor returns home after a visit to the doctor and tells his wife: “Darling, what you and I have considered orgasm our…

...

Bravo my dear
“It’s not you who decides where we are going. Parents decide, ”the French are strict in raising their children. The authority of the elders is unshakable. A child is not…

...

Persuasion is a waste of time
Marina, my wife and I, go to the park, and there is a stall from the church where they sell all kinds of prayed buns, etc. The tea is good…

...