I have older children taking care of younger ones
I raised two sons, they already have three children each, and the most important rule in the family was: the older ones take care of the younger ones, and the younger ones obey the older ones. Roma is the youngest, and I always told him that his elder brother is the most important person for him, he should obey him like mom and dad, grandparents. And the eldest, Vadim, when we were left alone, always told how to behave, so that his younger brother respected him. Vadima never scolded under Roma, took care of his authority. But Roma did not have to scold, because to deal with him – this was the work of Vadim.
I loved communicating with my sons and tried to find games that would be of interest to them and useful to the family. The war game turned out to be very successful: I was usually a commander, and Vadim, as captain in rank, reported to me about all the situations on the battlefield while I was preparing lunch and dinner.
“Comrade Captain, go to the barracks and see what Private Ivanov is doing (Roma was several months old then!).” A few minutes later I hear the message: “Comrade Commander, let me report, Private Ivanov has described himself!”
When it was necessary to go to the store, I called Vadim and sent him on a business trip to another city, giving the order that he should get it. He carefully bent his fingers so as not to forget anything. He mounted his bicycle and circled around the house. And when he returned, he told me on the fingers what he bought for the family, and in the end he proudly announced that, in addition to everything, he bought me a beautiful dress! I was just happy! Later, when he was in school, my children often went on excursions to different cities with the class, and teacher Elena Nikolaevna always told me with admiration that only Vadim and Roma from the whole class spent their money on gifts to mom, dad, grandmother and grandfather. All the rest never even remembered their relatives and bought all sorts of goodies. I think that our games brought up children attentiveness, kindness and caring.
We almost never scolded the younger one, because he was brought up with the help of an invisible magic hat. Once, when Roma was four years old and I worked at school in elementary grades, Vadim quickly brought me into the kitchen, closed the door and said: “Mom, now you will go into the room and see Roma. “He will have his father’s hat on, and if the hat has two holes in front, then you don’t see him.” It turns out that he found somewhere in the attic of his father’s panama hat, and told his brother that this hat is invisible. Only it works if Roma behaves well. And for the one who behaves badly, the properties of this invisible hat are lost. Great game turned out to be!
I remember such a case, I come home, go to my room to change clothes, and I see my youngest one standing in the corner of the room in an invisible hat with two holes in front. Of course, I do not see him point blank, but you need to change clothes, and the boy’s eyes are on fire, what can he see now that is unlawful ?! I slowly take off my blouse, and I myself think, what can I do? Hooray, come up! I shout: “Vadik, I forgot to tell you!” – and with these words I run out of the room. “Vadik, help me out, call this curious, take him out of my room by any means.” Then I come back to continue changing clothes and watch how Roman, having heard his brother’s call, reluctantly, with such a bright discontent on his face, leaves the room – you can’t disobey, the properties of the cap are lost. For a long time we played this wonderful game, only when my son grew up, the hat touched somewhere …
Now, in the families of my children, the orders are the same: the older ones take care of the younger ones, the younger ones love the older ones.
When they come to visit me, I wonder at their organization. My eldest granddaughter Maya, the youngest son has an unquestioned authority for everyone (and she is only ten years old), she listens to them for any reason, regrets, squeezes her when she sees that one of them is bad, painful or offensive, maybe herself, in a sign of solidarity, cry with them. The younger ones obey: Maya warns me before going to bed so that I don’t worry and don’t get up at night, as she herself reads a book to them, and at night takes them to the toilet in turn. And in the morning everyone laughs with stories about how they sleepy get up, in what poses they sleep, how she covers them. At home, children on weekends try not to wake up their parents early – such is their agreement. Mom, of course, from the evening will prepare everything for the children, the eldest puts each meal on a plate, heats in the microwave and feeds her wards.
Children truly grow good. In other families, I often saw how one child screams something from another, but we never had it. The younger Taisiya, seeing that Maya is lying on the sofa without a pillow, gets up and puts a pillow under her head.
It seems that the children like taking care of someone – provided, of course, that the child receives status for this. And this applies not only to our children. My granddaughter once complained to her parents that she was constantly offended by a boy Vanya in kindergarten, pushing, pulling pigtails.