When the baby commands, or how to react to the children’s cry, oh and crying
Good day! I’ve read many articles already, but I don’t find a suitable one … Help, please. Second child, daughter 1 year 4 months. Her behavior torments everyone, including herself. She, as it were, chooses a “friend” for herself and does not see or hear anyone else. If I (mom) are nearby, then this is definitely me. If I am not, then it can be any adult: dad, grandmother, grandfather, uncle … But someone alone. And to this “friend” kapets! She doesn’t leave the room (nor the toilet, will yell under the door; neither drink nor leave), she constantly “monitors” – in a second she will already notice that she has left. She doesn’t want to get up, she immediately asks for her hands, and if she immediately sits down, then she no longer needs her in her hands. If you tell her that you are going out, then here, with luck, as a rule, the horr begins with tears. With all this, she can play calmly if I sit on the floor and look at her. If only I picked up the phone in her hands, then she immediately needs to come to me, and the phone itself is not interesting to her. If I sat down at a computer, then she immediately needed to me, there is already more to the computer – press the buttons on the keyboard. She wants to be in her hands only in the kitchen, gives nothing, interest quickly disappears, I put it on the stool with me, let me do everything, but she needs to be in her arms if I stand. If I sit on the floor, then no longer need. When she begins to sob, she does not hear or see anything at all. Natural hysteria, and very often. And only this “friend” in his arms can calm. She needs no one else. I still have an older daughter, she will be 4 years old in May. She is completely perplexed by this behavior, too. There was never anything like this with her, you could always agree almost from birth. What should I do in such a situation? Thank you in advance!
Elena, I know that my answer is unlikely to suit you, but if you ask me, I will answer you how I would solve this situation. I would solve this situation not as a woman, but as a man, that is, in a businesslike and adult way. And in the adult world they don’t react to crying.
Imagine that your baby is in the hospital (there is nothing terrible about this, it happens), and next to her in your place is a smart and caring nanny. The nanny, besides your baby, is still full of business. When the nanny is free (which is not often), she will come up and play and take the baby in her arms: the nanny loves children. But when the nanny is busy, when it is necessary to clean up and do the procedures for the children, then cry, do not cry – the nanny will do her own thing. The nanny will take it calmly because she is at work. And what about baby? The baby will cry for a couple of hours in a row – and stop because she is tired and realizes that she is crying in vain: she will understand that this does not work with the nanny in the hospital. The baby will soon rest and will surely try to tame the medical staff for another two days, but she will be examined for health and if she is healthy, no one will react to her crying. And then the baby will cease to behave this way and will be engaged in more calm affairs.
Therefore – first contact a good neuropathologist and make sure that the child’s nervous system is in order. Suddenly he lacks some vitamins. But for some reason I’m sure that your baby’s health is all right, and thank God!
Therefore, I will suggest that you begin to be afraid. Elena, you are afraid, but you are doing it wrong: you are not afraid of what is really scary. While you are afraid for your baby, she begins to command you. This is scary. It is very bad that you are afraid of her crying and not afraid of the fact that she is getting used to dispose of adults and to command them. If you plan to educate it, and not just grow it, you need to determine the only right way with the question of power. They agree in the family, do not command. And if they command, then not children, but adults. Yes?
Only in this way will you educate a smart and healthy girl. Next is your choice. Can you handle it? I hope that your loved ones will support you in your efforts.
By the way, if you do not solve this issue, in a couple of months your older daughter will also master the same behavior. Do you need this?