Marriage ... Positive reframing
I’ll briefly recall what “positive reframing” is. Reframing is the brainchild of Peseshkian's positive psychotherapy, as well as behavioral psychotherapy and NLP. Reframing is such a purely linguistic (verbal) operation…

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Do you believe in dreams? Know how to interpret them? Are you afraid of nightmares? I haven’t asked all the questions yet! Have you ever happened to say this phrase:…

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What to do so that parental exactingness does not cause a child to protest?
The fact that parental exactingness is necessary, reasonable people understand, but many have a justifiable fear: Will the exactingness of parents cause a negative result in the long term? There…

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Five languages of love

In fact, of course, there are much more of them than the author of the popular books on psychology, Harry Chapman, singled out. But if you do not remember in essence a single one, if you thoroughly forgot what you once knew, then these five will seem to you a real treasure.

I get the impression that we live on a planet of the deaf …

No, at first we all speak loudly in one, common language of love for all – in the language of youthful hormones and pheromones, whipping over the edge. But “the plumber came,” we scooped up all the water and began to live and live peacefully. And here it turns out that:

You cannot confuse real tenderness
With nothing. And she is quiet …

Yes, I think to myself: it is so quiet that, at times, you will not hear. Louder! I want to shout. Louder that you mumble there ?! It seems to you that your tenderness is “quiet”, but for me, it really doesn’t exist at all.

There is such a joke. The wife says to her husband with resentment: “Would you even kiss me at a meeting! ..” Husband: “Darling, after twenty years together, what are these orgies for?”

Indeed, the husband can be understood. Twenty years lived together, the children grew up, I didn’t leave you, I’m not cheating on you, I bring money to the house, my plate after me – what proof of love do you still need ?! Why these orgies …

That is exactly what psychologically illiterate people argue. They smartly burst in their language of love, but for our needs … they wanted to sneeze. This is how our pussy behaves, which brings us a freshly strangled rat on a snow-white bed – on, hostess, I don’t feel sorry for you, I’m good … This is how dads poking a half-year-old child in the mouth with a piece of dried fish – eat son, grow up man, soon I’ll pour some beer …

If we want to live happily ever after, then we need orgies of manifestations of love. Otherwise there will be other orgies – orgies of scandals and tantrums. After all, somehow it is necessary to add colors to life? And the negative colors, they are always at hand, they do not need to run to the store at night, through the snowdrifts, to get from speculators …

The first language of love. Compliments and praise
The first language is words, and especially the intonation of words. This is for those who “love with ears.” Not necessarily women. Rather, those who love for a long time, a lot and with taste – develop-go-wa-ri-vat. Who has a rich speech. Who reads a lot. Who spends hours talking on the phone and loves the phrase: “What did you mean by that?” Who distinguishes between text and subtext. Who likes to leave comments … Who emphasizes the lines in books with a pencil and (oh, horror!) Also writes them in a special notebook.

What do you think will be the best gift for such a person? Correctly – carefully weighed, selected Words of Love.

The second language of love. Time
This is the time you are willing to spend on your loved one. Time spent together and not necessarily quality spent.

Some of you do not need anything – just come and spend your time with them. Such is their language of love … I know that many people are insanely annoyed. Some people cannot stand idleness, aimlessly walking in the streets, or even worse – the seats in the house. Such people should try to understand: the most beautiful day can be filled not with events, but … with each other.

The third language of love. Gifts of Santa Claus. Signs and Symbols
“Dad brought me a real saw from work!” A car of happiness … Those in whom the hunter or the collector dozes off speak this language of love. These people like to decorate themselves with trophies. As soon as you come to them, they sniff your bags and pockets: “What did you bring?”. They love you through the things that you leave them. And these are NOT MANDATORY diamonds and mink coats! Anything – just to be able to turn in their hands, admire the eyes and demonstrate to friends. Or mourn yourself after many years … Please note: Does your loved one keep theater tickets of ten years ago? If so, then he speaks this language of love. Such people sacredly observe the commandment: not to come empty-handed, and they expect the same from the guests. Empty hands for them, a symbol of indifference, an empty heart.

Fourth language of love
Specific cases. Help. It is very difficult for romantics and sovereigns in the clouds with such loved ones. You give them movie tickets, a bouquet of flowers and a mountain of compliments, and they tell you: “Here, there is no one to cut the grapes!” You give them a trip on a friend’s yacht, and they tell you: “The leg at the table is staggering, hang a mirror.”

But know: if you roll up your sleeves at least once in your life and spend the day on all fours repairing the toilet bowl, they will remember this all their lives. And when they recall this happiest episode from their history, tears will flow down their cheeks … “Wow, how he loved me!”

The fifth language of love. Physical touch
Weasel. With such people – the easiest way. But it’s easier only for those for whom this is not a burden. Let’s put it this way: two lovers, for whom the language of physical touch is their own, to live the most amazing thing. They do not need anything from the world in order to revel in joint happiness.

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